When Kait approached me about going to Alberta Fashion Week I accepted as fast as I buy Shisomiso dresses on sale.

Now when she mentioned that it would be to blog about it, that was another story. Then it occurred to me that opportunity to play fashion police for a week was far to entertaining to pass this up. I accepted the challenge hoping that being exposed to Alberta fashionistas wouldn’t brainwash me into thinking someone who is 5 foot 2 can wear thigh high leather boots since they are all the rage.

With my new identity as a fashion blogger I decided the only way to properly prepare for this new role is to head to the fashion mecca and observe fashionistas in their natural habitat. Good thing the largest Holt Renfrew in Canada just opened in Calgary.

A little Holt Renfrew secret for those of you who don’t dare to enter the doors because you live on an arts budget like myself – they do sell hats for under $50. Take the hat test, go there and pick up 5 hats and check the price, most will be $120-220 but 1 will be $45-$50. I know this because I have a felt hat addiction and monitor the hat department stock. The grey one had my name on it.

Now with my fancy new Holt Renfrew pink bag I went home to put my outfit together. I already knew I was going to represent Calgary in a Shisomiso skirt. This skirt has a funny story I actually eyed it for months and couldn’t afford it – only to be reunited with it a year later in a consignment store in Vancouver. I was elated to say the least. Consignment stores in Vancouver are the best – my favorite is Mintage.

Everyone in the fashion industry wears black so I put on a black sweater to make me more legit as a fashion blogger.

Since you have to wear something edgy that doesn’t look like it makes any sense I donned my new space boots to see how people would react.

The guy in my elevator told me they reminded him of the 80′s. Sweet validation.

Now for the ultimate debate do I match my purse with my coat? And should my fabulous Joe Fresh gloves match my shoes or my hat? Seeing how this was fashion police tryouts the pressure was on.

If you purse matches your coat should the fashion police arrest you?

I got into the lineup outside at Seven Restolounge and have already broken 2 personal rules.

1.  The only thing worth waiting in line for in Calgary for over 20 minutes is Globefish sushi.

2. I loathe the term restolounge

As I was reflecting on how pop culture makes you associate fashion shows with NYC and Sex and the City ironically I looked down and my new line friend Denise was sporting a fabulous bag quite similar to the bag Carrie gave Louise for Christmas in the Sex and the City Movie.

I think to myself how I should have worn crinoline but it is Calgary in October and -10 outside.

Stream of thoughts are I enter the room:

Wow I missed the memo to wear 7 inch heels

I think I am the shortest person in here

I could never date a guy with that much hair product

I wonder if any men in here are straight

Wow she looks angry

I can’t see the bar they are all too tall

Then I was pleasantly surprised to see a friend of mine debuting on the red carpet as a fashion photographer. Noted fashion photographer David Austin (said in the same tone Tyra says for Nigel) was nice enough to take my photo on the red carpet.

As I wonder to the back of the room it occurs to me that the room is full of people that look like they are trying not to smile. Attempting to fit in I fail as I start smirking at different outfits in the room. I make my way to the front of the people without seats thinking maybe it was a good thing I wore flats.

Then my friend Sean comes over looking good in green.

He needs a favour, for me to be security. Seeing how I was Deepa Mehta’s bodyguard back in the day at the CIFF and one year for halloween I looked like Whitney Houston from the Bodyguard – clearly I am qualified for this new fashion assignment.

My task is to ensure people don’t walk in front of the camera during the show. Meanwhile I started surveying the crowd for their thoughts on my spaceboots. I was really hoping to find someone tell me they hate them however people were very polite – my favorite comment being that they had a ‘jetsons’ look to them.

Then finally the show began with Solsticio by Maria Orduz.

The dresses were very nice but very tight and very short.  I decided if I had to hire a model I would hire this one as she would have passed all of Tyra’s tests.

Coming from a marketing background I was shocked how short models posed for photos. I would have thought that there would have been more time for the media to get a shot of the product for promotional purposes. Silly marketing logic probably doesn’t match with the beat of the music and the timing of the show. Clearly I would have to find a better place to stand at the next show since my photos are blurry.

Next came Broken Ghost Couture by Jana Foehrenbach.

I have to admit I was thrilled to see pink on the runway since I am a huge fan. I really enjoyed the layering and patterns of the different fabrics.

The after party/factory party was at The Banke. This venue has had many different faces in Calgary. Originally the Bank of Nova Scotia it has also been a club and restaurant in the past.

I really enjoy the art installations at the factory parties in town however it drives me nuts that you have no idea what artist did which piece. Nonetheless the venue was impressive as was the art.

As you entered the basement of the building you had full access to the vault. It would be a good place to lock up fashion victims arrested by the fashion police. On this evening though there was an art installation in the vault. I will leave the interpretation up to you to ponder.

***photos & story by Allison Moore.